{"product_id":"retirement-t-shirt-missing-milk-carton-t-shirt","title":"Funny Retirement T Shirt — Missing Milk Carton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis funny retirement t shirt, milks the retirement missing joke for as much as it can. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt first glance, this retirement t shirt looks like a standard calendar milestone announcement. Look closer and you'll find a detailed, hilarious illustration of a missing retirement nest egg — printed milk-carton style, \"MISSING SINCE 2008,\" right down to the cow who's seen better decades. We're saving Every Whey we can, and it's still not enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFull disclosure: We wear these ourselves — pre-wash and post-wash — to make sure nothing about the quality goes missing too. Because if we're going to put \"MISSING\" on someone's chest, the fit and feel better not be the next thing to disappear.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the perfect wearable eye-roll for anyone who thinks retirement is udderly ridiculous. Bold typography, sharp sarcastic accents, and a punchline built for a double-take — this turns real financial anxiety into a classic, groan-worthy dad joke. Retirement is supposed to be smooth and creamy. Instead, you're working past your sell-by date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 6.1 oz., 100% ring-spun cotton for a structured, high-quality drape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGarment-dyed and soft-washed for a lived-in look with natural shade variation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-needle topstitched 1\" ribbed collar, double-needle sleeve and hem stitching, twill-taped shoulder-to-shoulder construction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic relaxed fit with set-in sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes S–2XL available; sewn-in label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C\/90°F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e10% of profits is donated to Feeding America — because retirement might be missing, but dinner shouldn't be. \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/teamfeed.feedingamerica.org\/participants\/Team-Pension-Dept\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eSupport the campaign \u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Bay \/ S","offer_id":48890349420776,"sku":"31987893951790345779","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ S","offer_id":48890349453544,"sku":"65412104862375047595","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ S","offer_id":48890349486312,"sku":"12032321339001258689","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ M","offer_id":48890349519080,"sku":"59628126570126015989","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ M","offer_id":48890349551848,"sku":"30954463902564311531","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ M","offer_id":48890349584616,"sku":"10532894576411503475","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":48890349617384,"sku":"27900660890467037853","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ L","offer_id":48890349650152,"sku":"33481197013062004743","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ L","offer_id":48890349682920,"sku":"90608640176224515191","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":48890349715688,"sku":"14470349555805985546","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":48890349748456,"sku":"30763397536826963067","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ XL","offer_id":48890349781224,"sku":"69319390475063169447","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ XL","offer_id":48890349813992,"sku":"17538810168128529194","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ XL","offer_id":48890349846760,"sku":"16313299043076728201","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":48890349879528,"sku":"23277232279156075571","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":48890349912296,"sku":"29021658859717020351","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bay \/ 2XL","offer_id":48890349945064,"sku":"23338394321466701448","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Chambray \/ 2XL","offer_id":48890349977832,"sku":"11874165345437385716","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":48890350010600,"sku":"23851566892258294539","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":48890350043368,"sku":"32522514539722770814","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 3XL","offer_id":48890350076136,"sku":"81382445572113526328","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":48890350108904,"sku":"28226174690105856773","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0795\/6584\/8808\/files\/10559597927818948679_2048.jpg?v=1788230077","url":"https:\/\/retirementanxiety.shop\/products\/retirement-t-shirt-missing-milk-carton-t-shirt","provider":"Retirement Anxiety","version":"1.0","type":"link"}